Early one morning, I was walking through Bath when I saw an artist at work. Not so unusual, but she wasn't painting on paper, or indeed on any portable medium, and I wasn't sure if she was supposed to be there. I wish that I'd stopped to find out more, but my British reserve kicked in; I just filed the memory and continued on my way.

Fast forward to August 2024, when I was in Rome, waiting for a train. I received a message out of the blue from Denmark, from someone I'll call Min. I don't know how best to describe Min: friend seems a bit too familiar, as I've never met her in real life, yet acquaintance seems a bit too distant, given some of our shared, albeit time-separated, experiences. Probably nearer the former than the latter, but perhaps I'm over-thinking it.

Min was bringing my attention to the Jejune Institute in the States. Later, back in the UK, I followed this up with a few hours of interesting streaming: a documentary (free) and some inspired-by-fact fiction (paywall). All this material lodged with me and, sometime later, my Fredwynn-like memory palace kicked in and I recalled the artist painting with divine nonchalance in Bath. I have since learned that she was not called Eva or Clara, but Miriam.

Part of divine nonchalance involves a heightened attention of one's surroundings and noticing odd things hidden in plain sight. Abbey Fauna is an open invitation to you to practise some of these skills. Unfortunately, there are no flyers, rented offices, radio or phone messages (watch the streaming references for context), but I hope that you will at least have a diverting half-hour.

Take a look at the following diagram. I wouldn't describe it as a map exactly, and it is not to scale, but it should make enough sense when you are physically at the acorn.

There follow two sets of questions. All the initial answers are intended to be easy, but then you need to convert each answer into a single letter or digit from the diagram, using some divinely nonchalant fieldwork. (The fieldwork is essential! Do not, for example, just try the first letter of the answer, or any other arbitrary scheme.) Listed strictly in the order of the questions, these letters and digits will form two code strings: let's label them Code-E and Code-H. (Note that on completion neither of them will spell out anything meaningful.)

The Easy and Often Harder labels below do not refer to the difficulty of the questions, but to the relative difficulty of obtaining the letters or digits of their respective code strings. Early in the morning (i.e. before the shops open), later in the evening, or anytime during inclement weather, they are equally easy to obtain.

Since the Jejune Institute does not wish you to go home unfulfilled, there are two options. These are not either/or options and you are encouraged to do both, but depending on your timing there will be occasions when Often Harder becomes Impracticably Hard (unless you are tenacious, persistent, and brave).

The physical version of this cache (see here) uses only Code-E (from the Easy fauna questions). The virtual version of this cache uses both Code-E and Code-H (from the Often Harder fauna questions), simply concatenated in that order. Note that this is not simply two cache types for the price of one. They start out from the same trunk, but then branch, and the virtual cache is usually harder, despite its not having a physical stage. I acknowledge that I am slightly playing with the form, but then again the Jejune Institute is known for being disruptive.

Note that during the Christmas Market season, I expect that neither cache will be possible, so there is likely to be a temporary disabling during that period. Go shopping instead. (Or avoid Bath altogether as it gets very busy!)

This listing is for the VIRTUAL CACHE. Answer the Easy fauna questions AND the Often Harder fauna questions. Use fieldwork to obtain both Code-E and Code-H, then join them together in that order (21 characters long, case insensitive) and enter it into this cache's bespoke checker (click here), which will give you further instructions to log the virtual find.

Note that an average D-rating has been estimated for this cache based on Code-H, ranging from D2 (quiet periods) to D5 (peak periods). A halfway value of D3.5 was arbitrarily chosen, although it is more like Schrödinger's Cat and will be one or the other; in practice the timing of a typical tourist visit will correspond to D5.

Easy fauna questions:

Often Harder fauna questions:

Enjoy your nonchalant searching, whether divine or not.